I Shall Never Bake Again

So it's fundraiser time. We were asked to bring a dessert to be auctioned off to raise funds for girls' camp. Seems a reasonable request, except when you have been stripped of any culinary gifts like me. We don't have any amazing family dessert recipes because the only things I can successfully make are brownies (from a mix--and I've even messed those up before) and cookies from prepared cookie dough. So panic set in, and I stewed over the dilemma. I considered bringing a store-bought dessert, but they don't usually fetch a high price at such functions.
I decided to go with cupcakes: from a mix, but dressed up in some fancy homemade frosting. This is the look I was going for:

Unfortunately, not only could I not find a large star tip to pipe the frosting on, somehow the screw caps that keep the tip on the bag have gone AWOL. No time to solve the problem, I had to improvise. And here is my masterpiece:

Jeff aptly christened them "Doggie Doo" Cupcakes. I was hoping that once they were wrapped in cellophane, no one would notice. It was for a good cause, right? They're not much to look at, but I took comfort in the fact that they were probably the tastiest cupcakes I've had in a long time.

However, is it any wonder why Jeff overbid on a chocolate trifle? I did think to myself, I could make that! But then I remembered, "actually, no I can't."

I DON'T BAKE!

Slip N Slide

Last night, I was pleased that Jeff got home in time to help with the afternoon carpooling madness and I was actually able to make somethinng resembling a dinner...complete with dessert! AND I was unloading the dishwasher BEFORE dinner even happened, when Trevor came inside and said, "I'm going to wash my hands for dinner."
Wow, I thought, that's pretty responsible. Usually we have to wrestle him to the sink.
I turned around and he was holding an empty can of PAM spray. He'd been playing on the trampoline. Needless to say, we have quite an adventure awaiting the next victims who step on the tramp. It is covered in oily drops, ready for some perilous fun.
In a way, it could be a bit of a "rainmaker..." we could invite unsuspecting children to jump to their doom and Jeff could fix them up. Hmmm.

Lyon Arboretum

Comparison Shopping

The other day, I stopped by Foodland to pick up some milk. Normally I shop at the commissary, but it doesn't open until 10, and I would be otherwise engaged. I knew I'd be paying more, but the convenience made it worth it. . .until I saw that it was $7.99 a gallon!

Deciding that we'd do without, and almost committing to become a vegan--if only I could live without my dairy--I decided to jot down some prices of a few basics for your enjoyment. I'd be curious to know how these prices compare to the mainland--and especially in Alaska.

First price is the grocery store...second price is the commissary. SO glad to have that!

Milk 7.99 -------------- 3.81 (just went down from over $4)

Eggs 4.49-------------- 1.63

Bread 4.99-------------2.99

Yoplait 1.59------------ .50

Oreos 5.29-------------2.25

Gas is at $2.24 on base.

We could definitely use some Coupon Clubs out this way!

A Child's Prayer

Tonight was Taco Night. Trevor has been volunteering to bless the food at every meal every day, and we let him because let's face it, they're always quick. But tonight was different. Tonight, there was a lizard in the upper corner of the kitchen wall.

"Please bless that I can have a lizard in my lunch for preschool," he began.

I peeked at him to give him a stern look of disapproval for where he was going. His eyes were closed, completely uninterested in getting attention.

"And I can eat his eyeballs and his head and his tail..."

Aedan and Jamon were doing a remarkable job at holding in their laughter, and I was waiting for him to look at me with an even sterner look of hellfire waiting to bore a hole through his skull.

"And please bless that I can eat a lizard and scoop out his eyes and chop up his tail..."

When he had finished, I looked at him, wondering if he was serious, since he hadn't given any indication that he was doing it to be funny. Maybe he thought of them as fish?

"Trevor, do you really want a lizard in your lunch?"

He looked at me with glossy eyes as he nodded his head, yes.

"Well, I think that sounds like a great snack. I would be happy to do that for you. I could pack him in your sandwich. Would you like that?"

"Yeah, and chop up his tail and mash up his eyeballs ."

"Yeah, we can do that. I think it's a great idea."

He looked at me solemnly, "And I will say, 'Eew, that's not so good to eat!'"

And now I know: I have borne a mischievous son with a convincing poker face.

OOH-RAH!

This is a postscript to my last entry. I was relating the "You Rock" experience to a friend, and she burst out laughing. She informed me that what I heard from the marine at the gate was not in fact "You Rock!" but the common Marine grunt, "OOHRAH!" There's actually a history to it: http://www.leatherneck.com/forums/showthread.php?t=27951

I stand corrected, accepting my place back in the pack, but I may still choose to hear "You ROCK!" when I get oorahed next.

My Fan Club

Every time I enter the Marine Corps base, the guard checks our car ID tags, salutes me, and wishes me a good day. I'm not comfortable with the salute. Makes me feel like a noblewoman atop a transportable settee nodding disdainfully to a servant. Anyway--one morning, I was surprised when I got the salute, a good day ma'am, and an emphatic "You ROCK!" from the guard.

What's wrong with THAT guy? I thought. Then, what am I thinking? Of course I rock!

Then a flashback to a young man who is a Walmart greeter who welcomed me to the store and said, "I sure like your aqua blue top with those shiny black capris!"

Pervert, I thought as I glanced down, are these capris really shiny?

Come to find out the guy's not altogether there and compliments everyone on what they're wearing. I embraced it. Totally looked forward to getting a compliment on my way in the Walmart door. Great pick-me-up.

So this morning, I headed through the main gate of the base, my guy wasn't at the guard post. I got the salute and the good day ma'am, to which I added a mental, You ROCK!

I think I just found my new daily affirmation.