I Shall Never Bake Again

So it's fundraiser time. We were asked to bring a dessert to be auctioned off to raise funds for girls' camp. Seems a reasonable request, except when you have been stripped of any culinary gifts like me. We don't have any amazing family dessert recipes because the only things I can successfully make are brownies (from a mix--and I've even messed those up before) and cookies from prepared cookie dough. So panic set in, and I stewed over the dilemma. I considered bringing a store-bought dessert, but they don't usually fetch a high price at such functions.
I decided to go with cupcakes: from a mix, but dressed up in some fancy homemade frosting. This is the look I was going for:

Unfortunately, not only could I not find a large star tip to pipe the frosting on, somehow the screw caps that keep the tip on the bag have gone AWOL. No time to solve the problem, I had to improvise. And here is my masterpiece:

Jeff aptly christened them "Doggie Doo" Cupcakes. I was hoping that once they were wrapped in cellophane, no one would notice. It was for a good cause, right? They're not much to look at, but I took comfort in the fact that they were probably the tastiest cupcakes I've had in a long time.

However, is it any wonder why Jeff overbid on a chocolate trifle? I did think to myself, I could make that! But then I remembered, "actually, no I can't."

I DON'T BAKE!