A Child's Prayer

Tonight was Taco Night. Trevor has been volunteering to bless the food at every meal every day, and we let him because let's face it, they're always quick. But tonight was different. Tonight, there was a lizard in the upper corner of the kitchen wall.

"Please bless that I can have a lizard in my lunch for preschool," he began.

I peeked at him to give him a stern look of disapproval for where he was going. His eyes were closed, completely uninterested in getting attention.

"And I can eat his eyeballs and his head and his tail..."

Aedan and Jamon were doing a remarkable job at holding in their laughter, and I was waiting for him to look at me with an even sterner look of hellfire waiting to bore a hole through his skull.

"And please bless that I can eat a lizard and scoop out his eyes and chop up his tail..."

When he had finished, I looked at him, wondering if he was serious, since he hadn't given any indication that he was doing it to be funny. Maybe he thought of them as fish?

"Trevor, do you really want a lizard in your lunch?"

He looked at me with glossy eyes as he nodded his head, yes.

"Well, I think that sounds like a great snack. I would be happy to do that for you. I could pack him in your sandwich. Would you like that?"

"Yeah, and chop up his tail and mash up his eyeballs ."

"Yeah, we can do that. I think it's a great idea."

He looked at me solemnly, "And I will say, 'Eew, that's not so good to eat!'"

And now I know: I have borne a mischievous son with a convincing poker face.

OOH-RAH!

This is a postscript to my last entry. I was relating the "You Rock" experience to a friend, and she burst out laughing. She informed me that what I heard from the marine at the gate was not in fact "You Rock!" but the common Marine grunt, "OOHRAH!" There's actually a history to it: http://www.leatherneck.com/forums/showthread.php?t=27951

I stand corrected, accepting my place back in the pack, but I may still choose to hear "You ROCK!" when I get oorahed next.

My Fan Club

Every time I enter the Marine Corps base, the guard checks our car ID tags, salutes me, and wishes me a good day. I'm not comfortable with the salute. Makes me feel like a noblewoman atop a transportable settee nodding disdainfully to a servant. Anyway--one morning, I was surprised when I got the salute, a good day ma'am, and an emphatic "You ROCK!" from the guard.

What's wrong with THAT guy? I thought. Then, what am I thinking? Of course I rock!

Then a flashback to a young man who is a Walmart greeter who welcomed me to the store and said, "I sure like your aqua blue top with those shiny black capris!"

Pervert, I thought as I glanced down, are these capris really shiny?

Come to find out the guy's not altogether there and compliments everyone on what they're wearing. I embraced it. Totally looked forward to getting a compliment on my way in the Walmart door. Great pick-me-up.

So this morning, I headed through the main gate of the base, my guy wasn't at the guard post. I got the salute and the good day ma'am, to which I added a mental, You ROCK!

I think I just found my new daily affirmation.

What Am I Saying?

I've mentioned that Aedan likes to eat seaweed. Just so you don't think she's gnawing on vines she pulls from the ocean, here's what it looks like. They come in crispy sheets packed in a little plastic tray. You can wrap them over rice creations like sushi, but I guess they are good as snacks.
She was eating them in the car, crunching, crunching. I looked over and it was a horrid sight--whole sheets going waywardly into her mouth, like when you shove a whole potato chip in--but this is larger than a potato chip.
"That's not how people eat that is it?"
Crunch, crunch, tongue lapping, crunch.
"Isn't there a way to eat that more...civilized ?"
Then I think...did I just say she should eat seaweed more civilized? What next? "How many times do I have to tell you, no slurping the whale blubber!"

With No Showers Come Great Powers

I have just had my most productive weekend ever since we arrived on the island.

There is much hype about certain habits of "Highly Effective People." Today I will reveal the true remedy to a productive and balanced life:

Jex Life Principle #1: If you eliminate showers from your daily routine, you will significantly increase your productivity. Let me explain. On Friday, I got up early enough to exercise, went grocery shopping, cleaned the fridge and restocked it with said groceries, weeded two gardens, planted flowers and mulched them. All before the kids got home from school at 2:30. It required two trips to Hardware Hawaii and one trip to Ko'olau Farms. And Trevor didn't interrupt my momentum by falling asleep or getting cheeky at any point on any errand. Having accomplished so much boosted morale when faced with the chore of supervising science fair experiments in the afternoon. To top it off, I got an impromptu girls night. Productive AND balanced. And all in my dirty, sweaty glory.

Showering interrupts your biorhythms--once you're clean, you don't want to weed and mulch. Once you're clean, you are not willing to exercise. Some days, you just have to re-evaluate your priorities: exercise or shower? well-manicured yard or shower? actual meal for dinner or shower? This is how the French can get away with a 2-hour break for lunch and over 60 days vacation every year. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/06/27/60II/main704571.shtml They don't shower. So if you know someone who by all appearances lives an immaculate life, you know they aren't showering.

P.S. Implementing my new life principle today, I literally paused in my sweaty workout gear...and opted to shower rather than go to Walmart. Priorities.

Jex Life Principle #2: Following a lunar calendar will prolong your goal timetables.

We planned to spend Saturday enjoying the Chinese New Year festivities in downtown Honolulu. Instead, Jeff awoke with a strong desire to clean out the garage. Knowing that such moods do not often cross our doorstep, we ran with it. January is the month to get organized, after all. The garage has been on the to-do docket for weeks. It was a beautiful beach day, but we stuck with it and now have a garage to rival Martha Stewart. (Well, at least enough to make my husband more excited to come home from work now)

I had decided to boycott setting New Year's goals this year. Too much room for failure. What I didn't understand is that New Year's Resolutions needn't start until Chinese New Year near the end of January. They still count. So when I discovered this compelling drive to accomplish great things this weekend, I realized that either the key to properly setting ambitions is an ancient Chinese secret, or I was part Asian, following the proper lunar cycles. In any case, I met my deadline. Goal for January: Clean the garage, CHECK!

Daddy Dolls

Jeff came home from work with this:

"What is THAT!?"

"It's something someone from work gave me: it's a doll for kids whose parents deploy. You can put a picture of their parent's face inside the helmet. Supposedly it helps them deal with the separation better."

"Why does it have a tuft of camoflage hair?"

No answer.

"Don't you think it's creepy looking? It kind of reminds me of Teletubbies. Won't it scare the child?"

"Naw, it'll be great."

I was surprised that the boys actually like it! Disturbing on many levels. In fact, Jamon took the task of Daddy Doll Personalization very seriously:

Would this comfort you?

Koko Crater Hike

Here are some shots of our MLK Day hike up Koko Crater with some friends. The trail heads straight up the hill on an old cable car track that serves as "steps." Over 1,000 steps one way up the 1,026 foot crater. And Jeff did it with Trevor on his back. At one point, there is no ground beneath the tracks, so we had a virtual Indiana Jones moment.